I know we don’t like to talk about our shame…

And, I invite us to notice what comes up in our body, even when we read or say the word shame.

Is there a fluttering, heaviness or weight in your chest? Your throat? Your stomach? Something else?

Does your heart start beating faster?

Do you immediately want to hide?

I do….Shame feels like a black pit in my lower back that sucks all the air out of my chest. I want to curl in on myself and hide. ​
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Those are some possible sensations. What about emotions or thoughts that come up?

Are you afraid someone will find out that you aren’t good enough in some way?

Do you immediately remember & think about the last moment.....or most terrible moment in time, when you felt shame?

Is the shame in part due to your awareness & perspective of that moment in the past?

Talking about shame is vulnerable.

So good job for engaging this long with this exploration….

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I love what Brene Brown has to say about vulnerability, shame and empathy.

She says, “Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.”

I love when two things can be true at the same time. There is so much room for growth in the ands….

Brene Brown also says that shame needs “secrecy, silence, & judgment to grow……douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.”

Empathy for ourself and letting others offer us empathy helps us be seen and the shame dissipates.
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So Both hard and amazing can come from us being able to get vulnerable and explore our shame

I have found that when I don’t ‘douse’ my shame with a good amount of empathy, that my shame becomes a barrier to connection with others and with myself. Then all I want to do is hide from myself and others.

I bury within myself, whatever the shameful thing is, and don’t leave space for the ands of vulnerability.

Without empathy, my shame and fear, turn my vulnerability into an either/or scenario.
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Then I don’t leave space for my humanness, trauma healing or love and belonging to transform me.

With empathy, I no longer judge my shame and fear of my shame. I allow shame and let it go.

With empathy, I am able to see the ands/boths that give space for connection with others and a more trusting connection with self.

With empathy, I open doors to joy, love, creativity and belonging.

I am good enough.

You are too.

I invite you to….

Give empathy a try.

Give it to yourself.

Give it to others.

Find those who can support you and give empathy to you as well.

Empathy….we can use it as a tool….

Let’s do some serious 'empathy dousing' on our shame and let empathy do it’s amazing work.

Remember, ❤️

You Matter. Your Healing Matters. You Are Worth It!

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