I am a Trauma Informed Embodiment Coach. Healing is possible for women who have trauma. Big T, Little T, Complex, Sexual, Religious, any form of trauma. Check out my content and ways we can work together.
Feeling Guilty When You Rest?
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This quote from nicolajanehobbs, is one that I love to reflect on when I start to feel guilty about resting...... "If you feel guilty for rest, remember, you're not just resting for you, you're resting for all of us. You're resting to normalize resting in a society that worships busyness. You're resting to help lower the collective bar of what we are expected to get done in a day. You're resting so your inner chaos doesn't cause chaos around you. So your inner peace ripples out to those you love. You're resting to challenge the culture of toxic productivity and the patriarchal belief that we should override our bodies' needs and just push through. You're resting to reduce your baseline level of stress arousal so that your nervous system isn't so easily triggered into a state of fight-or-flee. So that you can cope with the unavoidable stressors in life - traffic jams, tantrums, disagreements - with less reactivity and more patience, compassion and grace. You're resting so we can stop normalizing burnout and exhaustion as an unavoidable part of adult life. You're resting so you have the energy to challenge the status quo, to campaign for causes you believe in, to create a more loving world for yourself, your family, your community and our earth. You're resting so you can collectively remove productivity from the center of our lives and place love at the heart of them. You're resting to show other women that it's safe for them to rest too." Doesn't she offer so many great things in this quote? So many of them remind me of the reasons I rest. AND... Even though I love all these reasons, my guilt will often still tell me stories that start with, "Ya but...." and then give me a list of reasons why it's not true for me or why I still shouldn't rest in this specific moment.... When this happens I know my body is speaking to me by offering all these stories. Usually what my body is saying is that it needs to process by feeling what guilt AND rest feel like in my body in this moment. When I check in with my body and find that, yes, this is what my body is telling me, then I can give myself the space to sit in the guilt and process it so I have space to also sit in the rest and process that as well. Both can process and move through my body. One is not better than the other. And, in this example, one does lead to the other. Processing guilt helps me process rest. It's like the guilt is sitting on top of the rest and once I see the guilt and honor it by feeling guilt in my body and also offering knew kind reframes like, "I'm not a terrible person for feeling guilty about resting"....then I am able to be in contact with the rest that is underneath. Otherwise, rest seems to be out of reach. Do you ever feel that some emotions are covered up by others? So, once I can touch rest.... Letting rest process through my body offers me integration that is so helpful as I heal. Here are some of the integrations I am thinking about today... Holding space for the hard and the good... Processing and feeling the hard... Processing and feeling the good.... Black and white reframing to Ands or Both... Integration can help me really feel my sensations and let them move through and out of my body....and this goes for both the sensations I love and the ones I no longer want. My body is not meant to hold on to any of it but rather to feel it, appreciate or acknowledge it in the moment, and let it move through me. Also, knowing I can feel it again (or not) as I choose (both the good and hard). How about you? What comes up for you today as you think about rest and it's connection to guilt? Remember, ❤️ You Matter. Your Healing Matters. You Are Worth It! P.S. If you are having a hard time processing and feeling emotions or sensations on your own, this is when a coach can really help. Sometimes we need to be witnessed by another to create the safety our body needs in order to process. If you are feeling stuck and not able to process your emotions or sensations, I invite you to get on a free call with me and I can help you process.
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Hi! I'm Cami
I am a Trauma Informed Embodiment Coach. Healing is possible for women who have trauma. Big T, Little T, Complex, Sexual, Religious, any form of trauma. Check out my content and ways we can work together.
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