Two weekends ago my body said no in a way I couldn’t ignore.

My SI joint locked up.

If you’ve ever had SI joint pain, you know it’s not subtle.​
Every painful step and movement reminds you something is out of balance.

And before that moment… I had been going nonstop.

Two busy days.​
Walking. Driving. Being with people.
Holding space. Watching kids sporting events.

When I finally got home Sunday night, I started doing what many of us do after a full weekend — cleaning up.

I was vacuuming the living room and front room.
Bending, moving, picking things up.

And slowly I started noticing the pain in my low back getting worse.

Each time I bent down, it tightened more.

Until finally I couldn’t bend at all.

Everything locked up.

My body had decided: we’re done.

That night I went to bed hoping sleep would help.

Instead, I tossed and turned in pain.

The next morning it took me 15 minutes just to get out of bed, and I found myself in tears.

Not just from the pain —
but from realizing how completely my body had forced me to stop.

Listening to What the Body Was Saying

Later, as I talked with my coach, we got curious about what my body might be communicating.

Sometimes when pain shows up in our joints it can connect to:

• Feeling unprotected
• Being stuck in outdated beliefs
• Resistance to moving ahead
• Lack of flexibility or creativity
• Weariness

All of those resonated but - That last one hit hard.

Weary.

My body felt weary.

Weary from the physical pain.
Weary from the emotional layers that have been surfacing lately.

I’ve been doing a lot of deep trauma work — letting my little girl finally feel things she wasn’t allowed to feel when she was younger.

Sadness.
Fear.
Old narratives that had been buried.

That kind of work is sacred.

But it’s also a lot for a body to hold.

There was a very old fear under it too.

A fear that if I ever said some of the terrible thoughts I sometimes carry…
people might agree with them.

That they might already think those things about me too.

For a long time that fear felt unbearable.

So instead of speaking it,
I held it inside.

And my body was getting tired of holding it alone.

The truth is, I’ve released so much already.

And sometimes the body gently — or not so gently — says:

“That’s enough for now.”

What Honoring the “No” Looked Like

Listening to my body meant doing something that can be surprisingly hard.

I rested.

I canceled my physically active plans — the walk, the breathwork class, the yoga classes I teach.

And I canceled the get together with friends, the extra things on my to do list, and this newsletter didn’t get done last week either.

I slowed down.

I saw a physical therapist who taught me a few very slow, gentle exercises to help release the SI joint and reduce the pain.

I used the red light therapy booth at True North (where I teach my classes).

I sat with a towel or pillow propped behind my back for support.

I learned how to sleep with pillows carefully placed behind me, sometimes even placing a small, portable red light box behind me at night.

And something else that mattered just as much:

I let people help me.

I reached for outside support.

Something my nervous system historically learned not to do.

The Courage of the Body

This experience reminded me of something I talk about often in my work.

Sometimes courage looks like saying no to other people.

And sometimes courage looks like listening when your body says no.

Not as failure.
Not as weakness.

But as wisdom.

My body wasn’t punishing me.

It was helping me stop.

It was asking for balance.

Space to integrate.
Space to rest.
Space to honor what has already been healed.

A Gentle Practice

If you'd like to explore this with your own body today, I invite you to try this:

Pause for a moment.

Place a hand on your low back, belly, or heart.

Take 3-4 slow breaths.

And then ask your body:

“Is there any place in my life where you are trying to say 'no' right now?”

Notice what comes.

It might be a sensation.
A word.
An image.
Or simply a feeling.

Just listen. Journal or Share with someone what comes up.

Then you can ask, ”Anything I need to do about that? Or just listen and rest?”

Sometimes the most courageous thing we can do is allow the body to say:

“No more. That’s enough for now.”

And then trust that rest and integration are happening. They are both part of healing too.

With care and an Invite to Remember, ❤️

You Matter. Your Healing Matters. You Are Worth It!

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P.S. If you want help learning how your body is speaking to you, please reach out.

I offer a free 30 minute session.