There’s a particular kind of tired that shows up this time of year.

Not just sleepy tired —
but bone-deep, soul-heavy, I’m holding too much tired.

Clients have recently said:

“I feel like I do 90% of the work to make Christmas happen.”

“I’m just tired.”

“I can’t afford to have another really depressed day. There is too much to do”

“I pretend it’s not there and it turns into frustration or resentment.”

If any of that resonates and you feel it in your body… you’re not alone.

During the holidays, many of us do more, hold more, manage more, and caretake more — often without even realizing it. And then when our body finally says enough… we feel guilty.

We tell ourselves:

• Why am I so exhausted?
• What’s wrong with me?
• I shouldn’t need this much rest.
• I will rest after the holidays.

And here’s a reframe I want to offer you this week and invite you to see how it feels in your body.....

Intentionally stepping back and doing less can be nervous system healing.

That heaviness?
That urge to lie down?
That desire to withdraw, be quiet, stop talking, stop fixing?

All of that is actually your body speaking to you and doesn't mean you are a failure.

For many trauma-impacted nervous systems, depression, shutdown, or exhaustion is a form of collapse after prolonged over-functioning. It’s what happens when we’ve been carrying clean pain (grief, sadness, fatigue, disappointment) for too long — and it turns inward.

And sometimes… it doesn’t turn inward first.

Sometimes it comes out as fight or flight when....

You hold it together.
You swallow things.
You stay kind.
You keep going.

And then…

Someone asks one more thing.

Another trip to the store.
Another gift — even though the shopping is “done.”
A favorite cookie or food request - when you’re already stretched thin.
A comment. A tone. A look.
A budget that’s already tight.

And suddenly it feels like everything explodes.

You snap.
You yell.
You want to leave the room, the house, the situation.
You think, I can’t take one more thing.

And sometimes everything explodes inside but on the outside you seem fine.

You snap inside and pretend nothing happened.
You shut down everything inside so you can pay attention to everyone else and keep them happy.

None of this is you being dramatic or “too much" or "not enough."

These are your nervous system response systems, letting you know that it has been carrying far more than its share.

When we don’t have space to express needs, frustration, grief, or anger in real time, (or with a safe person later), that energy doesn’t disappear. It builds. And eventually it has to move — either outward (exploding, snapping, wanting to escape - fight/flee), inward (collapse, depression, hopelessness - freeze, dissociate) or the hybrid of both that becomes the fawn response

This is where compassion changes everything.

What often helps my clients isn’t stopping the emotions.

It is learning to feel pain and whatever comes up and let it move through our system:

• Does our sadness, grief, fatigue, frustration, etc..... need space and care...?
• Do we need to heal the self-attack, shame, and “what’s wrong with me” stories layered on top...?

Our body knows and as we use body-based tools to process trauma energy - tools that help us feel things safely and lets it move through, the body, heart and mind - clients then say things like:

“I see why I needed to rest and recover.”
“I can give myself some grace.”
“I don’t have to fight it so hard.”
“I can let it move through my body.”

Instead of pushing through…
Instead of exploding and then shaming ourself…
Instead of collapsing and calling it failure…

We learn to soften earlier and in the middle of stuff.

Softness isn’t laziness — it’s safety.

Soft breath.
Soft eyes.
A jaw that unclenches.
Shoulders dropping instead of bracing.

Whatever movement our body invites us into, can signal safety to our nervous system. The part that has needed our survival energy be in charge for far too long.

Here is a simple 5-7 min practice to try this week. I invite you to:

• Notice your inhale and exhale - giving yourself 2-3 breathes
• Slow your exhale - see if it can be just slightly longer than the inhale
• Let your inhale fill back up the space - do this pattern (longer exhale) for 2-3 breathes
• Come back to a normal breath and Notice where your body feels tight, hot, or heavy — without trying to fix or change it
• Let the bed, the chair, or the floor actually hold you

Even a few minutes of slow breath + gentle body awareness can interrupt the build-up that leads to fight, flee, freeze, dissociate or fawn.

Let softness lead the way this week.

You don’t have to process everything.
You don’t have to keep everyone happy.
You don’t have to push past your edges.

Healing — especially during the holidays — isn’t about perfection.
It’s about listening sooner, resting sooner, and offering yourself grace instead of pressure.

If you’d like support with this, I’d love to invite you to breath with me *In person in my Pranayama class, where we practice breath as a regulating, grounding, and compassionate tool — not something to force or override the body with.

*If you don't live in Flagstaff, you can connect with me here or respond to this email and we can schedule a short breath session for the same price ($25).

We move slowly.
We soften.
We create space for the nervous system to feel safe enough to settle.

Because sometimes the most healing thing you can do…is....

Less of all the crazy.

With warmth, gentleness, and a reminder, ❤️

You Matter. Your Healing Matters. You Are Worth It!

​​​​

P.S. Reach out here, I'd love to help.