Today, as I was going through some vagus nerve exercises, gathering some to send a client, I came across one called Superhero Pose.

Before I share about this exercise, let me briefly explain vagus nerve exercises:

They are movements that can awaken, support and help our vagus nerve come online so that our body can move into a new state. For instance, if we are anxious, it can help us calm down. If we are stuck, it can help us move into action.

And as I looked at this particular exercise, I started thinking about a question my clients often ask “How do I get my own back?” and was then reminded of my own experience over the last five months….

And how much I have been learning, physically, about what it means to have my own back.

So I want to use some of what I’ve been experiencing lately to illustrate Superhero pose and how it feels in my body.

Superhero Pose is very similar to Mountain Pose in yoga, with a few small differences.

You stand with your feet about hip-width apart and plant your hands firmly on your hips.

You seek to straighten your spine. In yoga, we sometimes imagine there is a string attached to the crown of our head, gently pulling upward and helping us elongate our spine.

You lift your chest, let your shoulders come up and then relax back down, and keep your chin parallel to the ground so your gaze is forward and let your eyes close.

In yoga or as a specific vagus nerve exercise, there is an invitation to hold this pose for at least a minute and somatically pay attention to what is happening in your system and in your body.

Seeing this exercise, I was reminded of guiding Mountain Pose in my trauma recovery yoga class this morning.

I’m remembering how good it felt, within my own body, to stand tall and stand straight today….

Because for the last five months, with all of my back pain, I physically haven't been able to stand up straight.

Later today, I found myself rotating back and forth between these two postures - the posture where my body leans forward, butt out and in pain… to where I can stand upright with no pain at all.

And I started thinking about how many times I have done similar back and forth ‘swings’ in my trauma healing too.

There have been memories, body responses, and narratives where I have felt this leaning forward, with even more of a wanting to collapse onto myself.

There have been times when I've needed the support of other people who could have my back (when I wasn’t able to) and help me stand upright.

People who help me look at my truth and my experience, release the stuff that isn’t mine, and help me stand up strong in the confidence of knowing my story.

And then there are times when I am able to get my own back.

This process has taken on a whole new meaning for me through this experience with my physical back.

With all the nerve pain, so many things stopped working together the way they needed to.

My abs. My lower back. My pelvis. My pelvic floor. Muscles, ligaments, tendons—all of these different parts of my body weren't working together.

Lots of these had physically turned off.

As I've worked with different support people, bone specialists, bodyworkers, PTs, and pelvic floor therapists, I've been learning how to find muscles and other parts and help them come back online again.

For instance, I'm learning how to use the muscles in the back of my pelvic floor.

How to engage the muscles around my psoas without my psoas completely taking over.

How to engage the deeper muscles of my core without letting the outer muscles take over.

And through all of this, I am starting to see physical parts of me that maybe haven't been fully online for a very, very long time.

There is something powerful for me about helping my own system integrate into a more grounded whole.

Helping all these different parts work together. And having more ability to actually live in my body and have my body move.

As I've been experiencing this physically, I've thought so much about how similar it is to my trauma healing so far.

There have been parts of me that went offline.

Parts that took over.

Parts that weren't working together.

And healing has been about helping more of me come back online and helping my whole system—my body, heart, mind, energy, breath—all of it—integrate rather than stay fragmented and compartmentalized.

For me, there is so much power in that.

And I also want to honor that not everybody gets to have the experience of their body physically coming back into full use.

Maybe later down the road they will.

Maybe not...

I also don't know what my own body will do in the future.

Maybe there will be another time when I can't stand up straight. Maybe the next time my back goes out, I won't be able to come back in the same way.

And I'm not fully back now.

There are still so many things I cannot do that I used to do.

I hope I will be able to.

But right now, I am at a place where I feel it is helpful and healing to appreciate what my body can do and what this experience is offering me about living in my body now.

(And I want to offer that even a couple weeks ago, I would not have felt that any of this info was helpful or healing - so please check in with yourself for if this is helpful for you, if not, let is move on through).

A tool to try

I invite you to try Superhero Pose. (Or adjust to Mountain Pose if hands on the hips doesn't feel nourishing, but hands by your side does).

(If standing isn’t available, you could sit, or lean against a wall, or lay down and imagine you are standing).

Stand (or sit) with your feet about hip-width apart. (If leaning against the wall, put you butt and back against the wall with your feet 6-12 inches away).

Place your hands on your hips.

See what it feels like to straighten and elongate your spine,

Lift your chest,

Let your shoulders come up and then relax back down,

And let your chin be parallel to the floor.

You can keep your eyes open or closed.

Then stay there for a minute, if that feels okay, and somatically notice:

What is happening in my system when I stand (sit, lean or lay) this way?

Notice your body sensations.

What happens to your breath?

Your chest?

Your belly?

Your pelvic floor?

Your shoulders?

Your legs?

Your arms?

Your energy?

Your emotions?

Your narratives?

Do you feel powerful? Uncomfortable? Grounded? Exposed? Steady? Activated? Nothing at all?

Notice what changes—or doesn't change.

You don't have to feel powerful just because it's called Superhero Pose.

Your body gets to tell you what the experience actually feels like.

In whatever position your body can be in, then ask:

What does it feel like for me to have my own back?

Because maybe part of living in our bodies is learning how to listen to all these different parts of ourselves,

helping the parts that are ready come back online,

and allowing them to work together.

And sometimes we need other people to have our back while we learn how to do that.

And sometimes we discover or rediscover (in new ways like I am) that we can have our own back too.

Remember, ❤️

You Matter. Your Healing Matters. You Are Worth It!

​​​​