Have you ever noticed how resistant we as humans are in doing things that we know are helpful for us?

For instance, I know that when I am angry, grounding helps me calm down, and I also know that when I’m mad, the last thing I want to do is ground.

(This happens when I’m excited about happy and fun things I’m doing too).

When I am in this state of mobility and action, I often don’t want to stop. It’s like I have the momentum going and parts of me think that the only option is an abrupt stop, which sounds jolting and terrible.

And definitely, if someone else is asking me to ground or calm down…I’m even more resistant….because now I feel I’m being bossed around and judged.

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And it’s the same scenario when I think about immobility or shut down.

When I’m feeling run down, tired, lethargic or depressed, the last thing I want to do is get up and move around, even when I know doing so will help me get out of my funk.

(And this is the case when I’m intentionally resting and chilling out too).

And again, I’m even more resistant if someone else asks me to get up and move.

I want to honor that all of this is normal and part of being human. We are resistant to being told what to do even if it might be for our best interest. (And that is true, whether being told what to do comes from ourselves or someone else).

Not all mobility or immobility is trauma, but when trauma responses are causing how mobile or immobile we are, here are some thoughts....

In trauma work when we are in lots of mobility (for instance anger, frustration or agitation), the tools we use offer ways to ground and calm our nervous system to help get us out of this heightened mobility, hyper arousal state.

And when we are in immobility (like depression, playing small, or exhaustion), the tools we’d use offer us mobility and bring us back out of a numb, hypo arousal state.
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Sometimes, it might feel easy to offer ourselves (or let others offer) grounding when we are all upset and feeling lots of emotions.

Sometimes, it might feel easy to offer ourselves (or let others offer) action and ways to start doing things, when we are feeling shut down.

But for the days we are resistant….

Here is a tool we can use….

We can intentionally go into the mobility or the immobility and then intentionally, and on our time frame, come out of those states.

This is powerful because we are gaining back our power and choice by moving into something and coming back out with intention.

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Moving from mobility in to regulation..

For instance, when I’m mad, and I know I need to ground but don’t want to or don’t feel like I can get my body to ground, then I can move into the energy of my anger.

This can look like:

• Tightening all the muscles around my face, maybe clench my jaw for a bit and inhale into the tightening and then release on the exhale as slow or fast as my body is able.
• Tightening, constricting other parts of my body - hands, arms, legs, feet, butt - and then releasing.
• Taking a deep breath to fill up my chest or belly with air…hold the breath and then let it out.
• Flutter my lips or blow air out my lips.
• Go scream in the forest, run up and down stairs, punch fists in the air….

There are lots of options - the key here is to be intentional and to choose an action, instead of letting an action choose for you.

Then once you have gone into the mobility, the loosening of the muscles we tightened, the slowing things down, like our breath or where our eyes look - we can look around our space - the combo of going and and coming out is what helps us ground and regulate.
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It’s the same pattern for moving from shut down, to mobility….

When I’m feeling stuck, numb or run down, and don’t want to get up and move or my body doesn’t think that’s an option, I can intentionally move into that immobile energy first.

This can look like:

• Letting my body go completely limp on my bed, coach or chair
• Holding my breath
• Closing my eyes
• Covering my ears or eyes with my hands

Again, there are options here and we want to be intentional about them.

Then when we have gone into the freeze/shut down state, we slowly start to move out of it by moving one part of our body - toes, fingers, eyes, head, taking slightly bigger breaths - doing things to help move our body into mobility at the pace our body is able.

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I invite you to give it a try and let me know how it goes.

Our body has the wisdom to help us move through resistance and regulate our nervous system.

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Remember, ❤️

You Matter. Your Healing Matters. You Are Worth It!

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P.S. I know it's not Wednesday...but wanted to still send out this newsletter. Have a great rest of your week. :)