I was reading something from Nate Postlethwait recently, and two things he said really hit home for me.

He said:

“cPTSD is not a result of not handling things well. It’s a result of continually experiencing things your mind and body weren’t meant to handle at all”.

And:

“‘Family is everything.’ No, healing is. And if the family is who caused the trauma, they don’t always get to participate in the healing”.

There was a time when being able to name these kinds of truths felt like the answer. And it was then....

This is what happened.

This is why I feel this way.

This is why my body responds the way it does.

And naming the truth was and still is incredibly important for me.

But for me - and many of my clients - it can’t stop there.....

because eventually, we find ourselves in another really hard place:

This is my truth...now what?

I could finally name things I hadn't been able to name before.

But knowing what happened didn't necessarily mean I knew what to do with what I now knew.

And I think this is one of the reasons learning to live in my body and helping my clients do the same has become such an important part of healing.

Somatic, polyvagal, and inner child tools helped me learn how to make my body a safe enough place for me to actually inhabit.

And once I could stay in my body with more safety, I could begin asking:

What does my body have to tell me about what comes next?

Instead of only understanding the pain, I could move through the pain of the truth.

I could feel what was there.

Listen to it.

Let my body respond to it.

Give younger parts of me what they hadn't received.

And eventually, I could let some of the trauma connected to those experiences move through and leave.

There are things I can remember now that used to bring an intense emotional and survival response with them.

I still remember what happened. But the traumatic survival response that once came with the memory isn't there anymore.

That doesn't mean there aren't more layers.

There are.

In fact, sometimes releasing one layer gives me access to another one I couldn't reach before.

And sometimes that sucks....

Because those new layers can still hurt. They can still be traumatic.

The difference is that I don't respond to them with the same fear.

My nervous system doesn't completely take over the way it once did.

I have tools.

I trust the process more.

I trust myself more.

And I have more confidence in my ability to turn toward what is coming up, listen to what my body is telling me, let the trauma move through, and find my way back to my grounded self.

Maybe that's part of what living in our bodies while we heal can give us.

Not a body that never gets activated.

Not a life where another painful layer never surfaces.

But a safe enough place inside ourselves to meet the truth and ask:

I know this now. What do I need? What is my body telling me? And what now?

And then trust ourselves enough to listen for the answer.

Here’s one body-based tool you can try:

One of the somatic tools I love to use is called ball tossing—but it doesn’t have to be a ball, so you can adapt it with whatever you have - I used my chapstick today....

Find something that fits comfortably in your hand and slowly begin moving it from one hand to the other. You can gently toss it or simply pass it back and forth. You can even close your eyes if that helps you focus more.

Then really pay attention to how the object feels in your hands.

Is it rough or smooth?
Does it have a texture?
How heavy is it?
Does your body like holding it—or would it prefer something different?

This gives you bilateral stimulation as you move back and forth between the two sides of your body. Bilateral stimulation can support processing while also helping bring your attention into the present moment.

And that's one of the things I love about this practice.

When you're paying this much attention to the felt experience of the object in your hands, you're giving your body something happening right now to notice instead of only being pulled into spiraling thoughts, feelings, or a trauma response.

Try it for a minute or two and notice:

What happens in my body as I do this?

You don't have to make anything happen. Just notice what your body tells you.

Remember, ❤️

You Matter. Your Healing Matters. You Are Worth It!

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P.S.Maybe you're in your own “This is my truth...now what?” place right now.

I have 2 spots open in my Basic Foundation program.

If you understand a lot about your trauma but still don't know what to do when your body takes over, this is the work we do together.

You can schedule a free 30-minute call with me to learn more and see if Basic Foundation feels like the right next step.